Wrong Decisions

Tonight my voice is an umbrella
Weighed down by my gloom
But protecting me from the
World’s sadness all the same
People say they want to die
When all they do is stop
At every sidewalk they
See and follow the rules
In some ways I feel
We all want to die on
Our own terms like
The stars often try to
I guess I believe in somethings
Like the idea that the
Night sky believes in me too

Cloak Me

We are all just human beings
Controlled by the urges
We say we programmed inside
Of us so we can deny the
Actions we have made to
Love, to heal, to mend the
Broken areas inside of us
Even on the best days
Life is a mountain I
Can no longer climb
Because falling leads
To scratches and bruises
On my belly I wish was
Carrying stars and constellations
So maybe I could have a reason
To be in the fires ablaze

Demagouge

On Friday I am in love
With loving myself and
On Monday I am in love
With hating the feeling
Of arms buried deep
Inside of the gentle world
Which hath guided us to
The icicles capable of
Breaking down barriers
On Tuesday there is
Someone listening to me
Breathing the words I
Have always wanted to
Hear said slower
Only on Wedneday it
Is in a completely different
Language than the one
I can understand

Election Season: Run Turkeys Run

The small will one day grow big
Through the ample size of our
Actions louder than the words
The small will undermine the
System through the belief
That breaking someone else
Has never once fixed yourself
Your life will become unglued
Faster than the mess tangled
Up in your hands like the
Free postage you spare every
Season this comes around and
The same old kids are starving
On a different boulevard in
Every state in this country
A year ago I could have stayed
Up until 3am to talk about
My beliefs and dreams for
Growing old with you and all
I can say now is that I don’t
Even have my own world I
Always believed in

Take Me Away

To float up higher than the
Top kitchen shelf was my dream
When I was a baby I would coast
From shelf to shelf in an effort
To become higher than the clouds
Themselves until one day I fell
And my head cracked open
Like the lotus flower in spring
I imagine the doctor stitched
It together wrong out of
Fear everything sealed inside
Could cause enough trauma
That I’d jump one day
Only I’m here to tell him
The words I’m saying wrong
Are only getting better

Left Hand Man

The laws of physics taught me
That things lost must always
Be picked up, taken from
Somewhere else
Only the laws of life
Never explained that those
Principles rarely apply
When I lost any resemblance
Of normality I didn’t realize
It would dissipate into
Nowhere land
All my friends are turning
Into stone in this ice barren
World where my arms
Are too cold to keep me
Stuck together late into
The night when I’m running
Into the ICIEST waters
It took me fiften years to
Learn people are not
Medicine and words are
No remedy for an
Insufferable disease
Plaguing us all

Love Me

The world is a stage in which
The manifestations of our
Passions are painted in hues
Of greed, bloom and whit
To prevent the idea of control
Give me the world and I
Can make a masterpiece
Provide me with the seas
And I can torment the
Shores to love the sea
No matter how often it
Leaves and comes back again
Give me a wilten rose and I
Can make it shine
But give me myself and I
Cannot find a pillar to stand

Bubblegum Machine

People are filling me with coins
Like I am some sort of slot machine
There are random words tattooed
On my wrist only I can never
Seem to turn them into a
Coherent poem as I once imagined
I would be able to until I
Realized the killing machine was
Flowing through my brain
The obsession for perfection was
Only the beginning of something
One day the words became all
Too much and cutting one meant
Cutting the other from the world
The knives couldn’t drive deep
Enough to pull the letters from
The patched up skin
Today I have courage flowing
Through my veins instead of
The sadness you filled me with
Until I sunk

One Lovely Blog Award

Hi,

one-lovely-blog-1

I’ve been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by InMyShoes247. The nominating is great, because I’ve had a chance to discover what other people enjoy on WordPress. Thank you InMyShoes247!

Here are the rules:

The One Lovely Blog Award nominations are chosen by fellow bloggers for those newer and up-and-coming bloggers. The goal is to help give recognition and also to help the new blogger to reach more viewers. It also recognizes blogs that are considered to be “lovely” by the fellow bloggers who choose them. This award recognizes bloggers who share their story or thoughts in a beautiful manner to connect with viewers and followers. In order to “accept” the award the nominated blogger must follow several guidelines:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you for the award.
  2. Add the One Lovely Blog logo to your post.
  3. Share 7 facts/or things about yourself
  4. Nominate 15 bloggers you admire and inform the nominees by commenting on their blog.

Seven Random Facts:

  1. I grew up in Connecticut.
  2. I am currently working on a publication of poetry.
  3. I have had this blog for about three years now.
  4. I’m a feminist (and we all should be interested in gender equality)
  5. I’m very into leadership
  6. I’m not quite sure what I want out of life anymore
  7. I want to give people a chance when they don’t have one

Fifteen Nominations:

  1. http://18yearsyoung.wordpress.com/
  2. http://totalovrdose.wordpress.com/
  3. http://thereclininggentleman.wordpress.com/
  4. http://literarylandofalysia.com/
  5. http://thetruthwarrior.wordpress.com/
  6. https://wordpress.com/read/blog/id/62277699/
  7. http://writeranxieties.wordpress.com/
  8. http://crazimessyness.wordpress.com/
  9. http://candycoatedreality.com/
  10. http://mydomainpvt.wordpress.com/
  11. http://mikialmillard.com/
  12. http://strangersandpoetry.wordpress.com/
  13. http://meganhasocd.com/
  14. http://theseer1959.wordpress.com/
  15. http://cristianmihai.net/

Counterfeit Death

It’s not the knife that kills
But the intentions of the
Human wielding the weapon
Of their choice to fabricate
The demise of existing long
Enough to hold onto the
Pain of sufferring to
Feel alive for more than
A few measly seconds in
Which there is a purpose
The counterfeit death
Robs the daylight from
Me once again

Letting Us Down

Two young deer
Crossed the road at
Midnight and I couldn’t
Help but imagining what
Things would be like if
We had done the same
If we would be climbing
The mountains in the
Peaks of our lives
Or tumbling down
The pine trees of
Our mistakes to
Crash land the
Same way I am now

Akin

There is a soldier
In the coldest night
Praying for warmth
To reach her hands before
The rush of blood
Envelopes her heart
There is a solider
Holding onto the threads
Of a fatigued sweater
Battered by the ancient
Remnants of war
Yet the tears fall
The same for the
Coveted in the warmth
Of a blanket

Believe Me

We age the way we breathe
We forget to and then we
Realize all at once
That things are happening
Under the surface
But we can’t see them
Until the cracks appear
Like wrinkles as the
Daily disaster or daily
Proof of our existing for
A mere mile longer
Though our minds can
Only swirl for so long
It doesn’t mean that
We can’t live all the same

Run That Record

There is salt in my tears
I can’t even remeber how
To say hello long enough
To breathe for a year
Without stepping on
The eggshells I’ve spent
Years protecting my
Own heels from
There are dark puddles
Forming on the clothes
I used to imagne would
Be bright pinks and
Beautiful hues which
No one could touch
But me and you
I was ground up
Like coffee and turned
Into the useless energy
We all crave so much
Until it’s gone
I play on loop the
Way records do
Until they scratch

Dear October

If you handed me
An icicle I would
Beg for a thorn
From which to
Lick honey

The first time I went
Through the ringer
I felt a crime scene
Being created on
My own skin where

The scars are
Plaguing my idea of
Beauty and existing

The day this happened
I became a shipwreck
Lost far beneath the
Sea of repair

I Lost My Grasshoppers

Life is an uphill battle
Of fighting for what you
Want when you are
Only a meager spec
Of dust on the radar
Someone once told me
Life becomes much
Easier when you learn
To accept apologies you
Never received but
Is it wrong to expect
More when the breath
Is knocked out of your lungs
Repeatedly as you climb
Up the glass staircase of
Life tiptoing in glass shoes
Like your toes are
Pressed too tight
Your ribs are a battlefield
Of glass shards and nothing
Will ever be the
Same

I Didn’t Need Dreams

I wish to be nothing
Because it lasts forever
If the state of eternal
Nothingess was meaningful
Wouldn’t it be everything
I never fell in love with
Living which may be why
The action of dying seems
So peaceful at times in
Our lives
I mourn the loss of
My dreams the way I
Mourn the loss of the
Dead, I don’t

My people destroy
The remanants of ships
To make a living of the day
We create monsters from
Winded children with agonized
Windpipes who no longer
Have the ability to choose
What ensues their legs
What encompasses their grief
My people are monsters
Who are destroying the
Very idea of what it means
To be humane but does it
Make them any more worse
Than I who wishes to
No longer be human

Coasting Below

Drag me away
To a jail cell
Where I can rot
With a rope tied
Around my neck
Where every movement
Could cause the rupturing
Of a vein or some
I used to say I’d love
To go somewhere far
Far away where the
Pressure didn’t exist
Until I realized that
Without attention the
Pressure is all I crave
The noose is already
Tied and every point
Lower than I need
Tightens the rope
Farther down under

Awaken the Beast

I am no political machine
Into which you can place
Coins at various moments
Until a jewel encrusted
Marvelous piece of work
Pops out like a wonderful
Daughter bred from heirs
And money
I am no longer hanging
On the coattails of my
Ancestors who may
Or may not have equalled
The unparelleled success
Demanded of me
I am no quiet beast
Who reaps her prey
In the night
I am a lion awake
With ambition and greed
For forgetting to be a good
Person has allowed me
To be a monster who will
Stop at nothing to achieve
That tenuous goal

The World Is Crumbling

It’s two years after
The day I first
Concocted a potion
Deep inside my mind
It’s two years later
Before I unleashed
A million demons
Upon the world
I still miss the way
We spoke like the
Way I miss my ghosts
Which keep me sane
I still dance with
My mistakes until
My feet are crumbling
Under the blisters
Of tomorrow

I’m Afraid

The words traveled
So far deep down my throat
That I often found myself
Wondering which method
Of forgetting was worse
If the world tumbled
Down in flames
Would we find ourselves
Trying to forget
Again and again
In another ten years
Will we be wishing
For another case of
Living in ten years