On Friday I am in love With loving myself and On Monday I am in love With hating the feeling Of arms buried deep Inside of the gentle world Which hath guided us to The icicles capable of Breaking down barriers On Tuesday there is Someone listening to me Breathing the words I Have always wanted to Hear said slower Only on Wedneday it Is in a completely different Language than the one I can understand
The small will one day grow big Through the ample size of our Actions louder than the words The small will undermine the System through the belief That breaking someone else Has never once fixed yourself Your life will become unglued Faster than the mess tangled Up in your hands like the Free postage you spare every Season this comes around and The same old kids are starving On a different boulevard in Every state in this country A year ago I could have stayed Up until 3am to talk about My beliefs and dreams for Growing old with you and all I can say now is that I don’t Even have my own world I Always believed in
To float up higher than the Top kitchen shelf was my dream When I was a baby I would coast From shelf to shelf in an effort To become higher than the clouds Themselves until one day I fell And my head cracked open Like the lotus flower in spring I imagine the doctor stitched It together wrong out of Fear everything sealed inside Could cause enough trauma That I’d jump one day Only I’m here to tell him The words I’m saying wrong Are only getting better
The laws of physics taught me That things lost must always Be picked up, taken from Somewhere else Only the laws of life Never explained that those Principles rarely apply When I lost any resemblance Of normality I didn’t realize It would dissipate into Nowhere land All my friends are turning Into stone in this ice barren World where my arms Are too cold to keep me Stuck together late into The night when I’m running Into the ICIEST waters It took me fiften years to Learn people are not Medicine and words are No remedy for an Insufferable disease Plaguing us all
The world is a stage in which The manifestations of our Passions are painted in hues Of greed, bloom and whit To prevent the idea of control Give me the world and I Can make a masterpiece Provide me with the seas And I can torment the Shores to love the sea No matter how often it Leaves and comes back again Give me a wilten rose and I Can make it shine But give me myself and I Cannot find a pillar to stand
People are filling me with coins Like I am some sort of slot machine There are random words tattooed On my wrist only I can never Seem to turn them into a Coherent poem as I once imagined I would be able to until I Realized the killing machine was Flowing through my brain The obsession for perfection was Only the beginning of something One day the words became all Too much and cutting one meant Cutting the other from the world The knives couldn’t drive deep Enough to pull the letters from The patched up skin Today I have courage flowing Through my veins instead of The sadness you filled me with Until I sunk
I’ve been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by InMyShoes247. The nominating is great, because I’ve had a chance to discover what other people enjoy on WordPress. Thank you InMyShoes247!
Here are the rules:
The One Lovely Blog Award nominations are chosen by fellow bloggers for those newer and up-and-coming bloggers. The goal is to help give recognition and also to help the new blogger to reach more viewers. It also recognizes blogs that are considered to be “lovely” by the fellow bloggers who choose them. This award recognizes bloggers who share their story or thoughts in a beautiful manner to connect with viewers and followers. In order to “accept” the award the nominated blogger must follow several guidelines:
Thank the person who nominated you for the award.
Add the One Lovely Blog logo to your post.
Share 7 facts/or things about yourself
Nominate 15 bloggers you admire and inform the nominees by commenting on their blog.
Seven Random Facts:
I grew up in Connecticut.
I am currently working on a publication of poetry.
I have had this blog for about three years now.
I’m a feminist (and we all should be interested in gender equality)
I’m very into leadership
I’m not quite sure what I want out of life anymore
I want to give people a chance when they don’t have one
It’s not the knife that kills But the intentions of the Human wielding the weapon Of their choice to fabricate The demise of existing long Enough to hold onto the Pain of sufferring to Feel alive for more than A few measly seconds in Which there is a purpose The counterfeit death Robs the daylight from Me once again
Two young deer Crossed the road at Midnight and I couldn’t Help but imagining what Things would be like if We had done the same If we would be climbing The mountains in the Peaks of our lives Or tumbling down The pine trees of Our mistakes to Crash land the Same way I am now
There is a soldier In the coldest night Praying for warmth To reach her hands before The rush of blood Envelopes her heart There is a solider Holding onto the threads Of a fatigued sweater Battered by the ancient Remnants of war Yet the tears fall The same for the Coveted in the warmth Of a blanket
How could it take A year to switch Yourself back together and Only a moment to Fall entirely apart Under Monday morning Rains your sleeves Unravelled while your Eyelashes bat faster to Rescue the cascading drops Creating an ocean In your mind
We age the way we breathe We forget to and then we Realize all at once That things are happening Under the surface But we can’t see them Until the cracks appear Like wrinkles as the Daily disaster or daily Proof of our existing for A mere mile longer Though our minds can Only swirl for so long It doesn’t mean that We can’t live all the same
There is salt in my tears I can’t even remeber how To say hello long enough To breathe for a year Without stepping on The eggshells I’ve spent Years protecting my Own heels from There are dark puddles Forming on the clothes I used to imagne would Be bright pinks and Beautiful hues which No one could touch But me and you I was ground up Like coffee and turned Into the useless energy We all crave so much Until it’s gone I play on loop the Way records do Until they scratch
Life is an uphill battle Of fighting for what you Want when you are Only a meager spec Of dust on the radar Someone once told me Life becomes much Easier when you learn To accept apologies you Never received but Is it wrong to expect More when the breath Is knocked out of your lungs Repeatedly as you climb Up the glass staircase of Life tiptoing in glass shoes Like your toes are Pressed too tight Your ribs are a battlefield Of glass shards and nothing Will ever be the Same
I wish to be nothing Because it lasts forever If the state of eternal Nothingess was meaningful Wouldn’t it be everything I never fell in love with Living which may be why The action of dying seems So peaceful at times in Our lives I mourn the loss of My dreams the way I Mourn the loss of the Dead, I don’t
My people destroy The remanants of ships To make a living of the day We create monsters from Winded children with agonized Windpipes who no longer Have the ability to choose What ensues their legs What encompasses their grief My people are monsters Who are destroying the Very idea of what it means To be humane but does it Make them any more worse Than I who wishes to No longer be human
Drag me away To a jail cell Where I can rot With a rope tied Around my neck Where every movement Could cause the rupturing Of a vein or some I used to say I’d love To go somewhere far Far away where the Pressure didn’t exist Until I realized that Without attention the Pressure is all I crave The noose is already Tied and every point Lower than I need Tightens the rope Farther down under
I am no political machine Into which you can place Coins at various moments Until a jewel encrusted Marvelous piece of work Pops out like a wonderful Daughter bred from heirs And money I am no longer hanging On the coattails of my Ancestors who may Or may not have equalled The unparelleled success Demanded of me I am no quiet beast Who reaps her prey In the night I am a lion awake With ambition and greed For forgetting to be a good Person has allowed me To be a monster who will Stop at nothing to achieve That tenuous goal
“The last human Will die alone” I once heard While falling Down a rabbit hole When I wondered Which human I shall Be, the one who Leaves the other Stranded or the One who is Stranded in a Place where we Are not too sure
It’s two years after The day I first Concocted a potion Deep inside my mind It’s two years later Before I unleashed A million demons Upon the world I still miss the way We spoke like the Way I miss my ghosts Which keep me sane I still dance with My mistakes until My feet are crumbling Under the blisters Of tomorrow
The words traveled So far deep down my throat That I often found myself Wondering which method Of forgetting was worse If the world tumbled Down in flames Would we find ourselves Trying to forget Again and again In another ten years Will we be wishing For another case of Living in ten years
The curve of my back
Is the steeping slope
One rides to discover
The wonders above
The warm soft spaces
Beneath my eyes,
Above my cheekbones
Are where the longest secrets
Hide for they take
Forty years to expose
And on others a mere twenty
Lapse by before the secrets
Come out to play
There is no warning rattle at the door nor heavy feet to stomp the foyer boards. Safe in the dark prison, I know that light slides over the fingered work of a toothless woman in Pakistan. Happy prints of an invisible time are illumined. My mouth agape rejects the solid air and lungs hold. The invader takes direction and seeps through the plaster walls. It is at my chamber, entering the keyhole, pushing through the padding of the door. I cannot scream. A bone of fear clogs my throat. It is upon me. It is sunrise, with Hope its arrogant rider. My mind, formerly quiescent in its snug encasement, is strained to look upon their rapturous visages, to let them enter even into me. I am forced outside myself to mount the light and ride joined with Hope.
Through all the bright hours I cling to expectation, until darkness comes to reclaim me as its own. Hope fades, day is gone into its irredeemable place and I am thrown back into the familiar bonds of disconsolation. Gloom crawls around lapping lasciviously between my toes, at my ankles, and it sucks the strands of my hair. It forgives my heady fling with Hope. I am joined again into its greedy arms.
I have been waiting For the Earth to bear its teeth To swallow us all whole Because the useless theories Have been rattled off far too many times In this world in which We cry to our singular moon Of lovers, of fate, of death I was told that it took Years to create the crusts Of the Earth, much like a human being Growing rapidly at first and then Tarnished by others, only to Slowly emerge again If we destroyed the Earth The way we break our bones Would it grow back stronger again If I skipped rocks to hell Could I pass into heaven Stronger, faster, readier