Rot

All your words were growing like
Lillies in my throat, I wanted to say
Them all over again, it felt like a
Garden was lapsing on my throat
Everytime I sucked in a breath
They said time ruins everything and
To some extent, I believed them, but
The garden kept blossoming months
Down the line, and I wondered
Whether you felt the same way, but
I could never ask about it again
Time rots everything, even me

I’ve Tried

Hang me out to dry, leave the tears
Soaking my face for someone else to
Wipe this time, let me bring my bucket
Down to the river and fill it with mourning
For these dreams I had of succeeding
When you find me cradling the rocks
Beside the shores, you will wonder what
Drove me to this place, and it won’t be
The overwhelming feelings which shook me
But the pieces of me you never let me feel
Perhaps at the end of my story
I’ll throw the bucket away

Up All Night

“People could drown” in my eyes like
They were the frosty oceans of the
Titanic, the iceberg ridden waters,
Those were the words you thought
Were compliments sending shivers
Down my elongated spine, only the
Words never made me feel like I was
The dragon waking up inside a tavern
And holding fast to the warmth
“Radiating” from outside, almost like
You said my smile radiated beauty
In a sea of emptiness, those backward
Words of yours that I tossed and turned
Around in my mind late at night

Next Dawn

The light will burn out of my eyes
Almost like a candle in a storm
When I was younger, I thought all
Thunderstorms led to tornadoes
And in a way, I was right, because
They did to someone, when they
Made their bones shiver and every
Part of their skull slam against
The walls, I will feel like I have
Died a hungry death, almost starved
By the burning desires inside, but
Cheated by the unfair world
Asking me to throw away my pride
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To make this trip for you

One Perfect

Your hands are light blue
They are a gentle hue
But your eyes are a deep brown
They make my head spin around
Your soul is a kindred purple
Everything they say is hurtful
But your fingers are singing
Like the colors of march’s wedding
I forget this isn’t a rehearsal
When your love feels so universal
If you want this forever, then
Maybe I’m home to you

Once More No

My hands are cold, like the arctic sea
Your heart was frigid, like the things
Frozen words you tried to lay on me,
If you whispered, I could have found wings
But your thoughts were incessant screams
Everything you said made me believe
Your hands drowned out my dreams
Up until the day I learned to grieve

Forget Me

You said I was like the moon, always
There for you, but darling, the
Moon is swimming alone in a night
Sky crowded by burning stars

My heart wanted to say yes to
The thoughts on your mind, but
My mind was telling me no, your
Focus can’t drift from the pain

When you touch me, it feels like
Papercuts are spreading throughout
My skin, and my soul is lost once again

My First Loss

There was a certain kind of bitter
Taste that your words left in my
Lungs, like I couldn’t breathe for
Days on end, but I couldn’t ask you
To say anything more to this end
I thought I always wanted to fight
For you, no matter how much it
Hurt me, but this time, it feels like
Each wound hurts a little more and
In the end, will I even remember
When you took my breath away?

My Sunshine Anew

I let you put the sun in the sky
But I forgot that meant you
Also had the power to say goodbye
I had never built a village with
Someone before, or wanted to
Put someone else before me like
This, and then you came along
And in my heart, it was so real
If only it had lasted forever, the
Way you had promised me it would
Or if only you could have picked up
The broken pieces of the heart that
Was completely whole before you

Please Understand

Sometimes I forget how to feel, my hands
Grow clammy and my thoughts turn into
Dust running through your fingers, my
Heart isn’t beating fast out of love for
You, and my smile isn’t from pole to
Pole, the way you deserve it to be
My nightmares are coming alive, I
Need you now more than ever, but
I can’t tell you that I would still take
A rope to the constellations from the
Sky to hand everything in the universe
To you, even if I need your voice to survive

Our Balloon 

I tied my heartstrings to a balloon 

Hoping it would float away and 

Latch onto someone like you 

-I thank the stars everyday, that

My red balloon, in its glory 

Found its way to you, I want 

To etch our names into the moon

For the whole world to see 

What love is meant to be 

-If, one day, this balloon does

Pop, I’m sure I’ll be beyond

Distraught, but I will survive,

I always do 

Make Me Smaller 

Flowers bloomed in places of me

Where people had never thought to see

You pressed your palms to mine

And suddenly vines started to rise 

But when you cackled and your 

Words became sharp, I couldn’t soar

To the sky and spot the gardens 

That you watered in me, I just found

The darkened places where the ground

Was littered with weeds and lies 

I’m Messing Up

You fall down like rose petals
People write poems about how
They aren’t loved in return,
Not how they can’t love someone
Enough, not about how the sun
Won’t shine for them everyday
And how their sadness will
Eclipse the feelings of togetherness
In moments where life has just
Become too much to handle
You crumble in my hands

When You Are Old

“When you are old and grey and full of sleep, 
And nodding by the fire, take down this book, 
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look 
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep; How many loved your moments of glad grace, 
And loved your beauty with love false or true, 
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, 
And loved the sorrows of your changing face; 

And bending down beside the glowing bars, 
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled 
And paced upon the mountains overhead 
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.”

W.B. Yeats, “When You Are Old”

Jump and Fall

All my sunsets are made of you
From the melting oranges to the
Green hues blending into the sea,
All of the stars in the sky reminded
Me of the way your smile shines
All of the riptides in your canyon
Are like the way my chest tears
When you speak in riddles to me
All of my thoughts of home are
Composed of walking through
Dimly lit doorways to see you
And holding your hand in the sky

Finally Loved

When my eyelids are falling together
But I can’t let go of talking to you,
Our love seems as seamless as
The sheets covering our hands
Clasped together; enough to have
The universe to allow us together

I fell in love with your soul, like it
Was the moon you put in the sky for
Me, I was never afraid of thunder
Until I realized someone like you
Leaving would be my eternal storm

When the sea is kissed the shores, I
Wondered how it could come back
Every night to beg for more, but now
I see you every night in my dreams
and I finally understand

Black Tears

My eyes don’t know you yet, at

Least not the same you; not the

One who swam in the pools of

My eyes and drank in the sunshine

With just brilliant stars in mind

-I saw you like the moon 

With all your scars and hurt

But loved it all the same

Despite the distance leading

You far away

-My heart thinks of you

Like its the sun and you

Are the ocean it always

Illuminates 

Nobody Else

Your smile was like a shipwreck; 

Beautiful and earth shattering,

I’ve always been obsessed with

Winning the world over, but I

Wanted this victory to be you

-Could you teach me how to put

Your world back together again,

Starting with why you fade, and

Ending with coming home to 

The fireplace we left on 

Don’t Do It 

When you break my heart, it’s

Going to squeeze tissue I 

Didn’t know I had there, and 

It’s going to burn like you are

Pouring alcohol on my wounds

And I don’t know if I’ll dance

On rooftops or sing in the car

Anymore, because it’ll be you 

Staring at the back of my head

-My mouth will taste like steel

Because you make me feel

Like the sky was painted for me

And the sun was my gift 

When you break my heart, I’ll

Need to string together a skyline

To feel whole again 

Love Me? 

I wanted to bottle up my 

Feelings and set them adrift

To be forever lost at sea
My heart is redder than roses 

Or heels, but it’s killing me 

My dancing shoes could never

Quite keep me on beat 
I wanted to pluck the stems

From forest greens and hug

Every minimalist, bare tree
My heart was open on the 

Highway, no speed limits or

Caution signs for leave 

Only running to the sun 

 

My Pipe

Different beasts wake when 

Different people tremble and shake

The world which I have come to know

And the people I long to see go 
I wanted to travel to the sun 

If it meant going with you, my love,

-But you wouldn’t take the train 

To Boston if it meant living alone
Muddied water never cared that you

Couldn’t see to its bottom, but soon

I found I couldn’t let go of the need

To swim around and understand you 

Visiting Friends

I remember thinking that when the sun flared,
I would burst into flames, the same way I
Thought I could never get over the memories
Of promising to run away with you

I sowed the seeds of sorrow in the same
Place you wanted to water the gardens,
I stopped telling the story of how we
Were dark vines intertwined in the sky

I packed a suitcase full of our conversations
And shoved it under my bed, but every
Coat I wrapped around myself smelled like
The railroads we traveled together

You were the song that played in my head
Until I learned snapping the record was
Just as effective as putting the keys in
The right cupholder every night

Your God

Truly, we don’t forget people;
Only the little nuances about them
The way their eyes crinkle as
They forget to laugh at the joke
And how their anger boils up
Inside of them like in a genie’s pot

We never really went shaking the
Globe around or being soft for
Someone else when they came knocking
-Maybe that’s the problem, I would open
My arms wider and say come here
When it took a lifetime to forget

Like the flash flooding on TV, you
Were instanteous and fleeting
-Like fossil fuel, you kept burning
The flames which had long turned
To mere candlelight; couldn’t you
Just love me with everything or
Not at all?

All I Want Is Something

To not love me, you’ve always had
My full blessing; but this time around,
I didn’t want to imagine what tasting
My salty tears would be like when you left

Once you do run away, I’ll wish you
Had stolen me with you too, like
The constellations were stuck to the sky
And in between them were the empty spaces
Between all the things you never said

Only the world isn’t that soft, you said
You loved the city you never visited
And I wondered if you could love a
Girl you had never met instead, that
City was full of sharp edges and skyscrapers
Tall enough to swallow us whole

I never realized I would want this forever
The way I crave the love of the sun and the sky
And if I could have absent-mindedly come to
The place where we are together I would have